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  • "Angela" started this thread

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Wednesday, April 4th 2012, 5:59am


Anniversary letter

A year ago, (more or less) I had just returned from Australia to New Zealand and there was made aware of the abuse website and statements. In Oz I had been in contact with my friends from yidl times, and we talked a lot about the ashram and our individual experiences since we had left and I felt encouraged to share my experiences on the web.

During my stay I spent some time at a healer’s house, having sessions. She asked me if I had ever actually given notice of my intention to leave yidl and informed swampy that he would no longer be my master.

As it was, I had just left without giving notice.

She said it was important from a healing perspective to perform this act, and suggested I should just get hold of a picture of the man and we would work with the picture. This was not an option for me, as looking at the image made me feel angry and disgusted.

Shortly after my return to Auckland from Oz, I went to an Indian shop, and believe it or not there was swampy beaming out of a poster in the shop window.

It was announcing his satsang that same evening at the Onehunga yoga centre, not far from our place in Auckland.

At home I had just enough time to inform my partner and write a quick letter to swampman, in which I stated I was no longer a disciple and out of yidl.

I was ready to give this to him in case I was unable to get my message across to him verbally.

My partner was aware of the ashram stories and my sexual encounters with swampman and guru gee, and was happy to stand with me at the yoga centre, but not interested in being dragged into a conversation with swampman.

So we drove to the Centre and sat in the foyer while we waited for the “lecture” to finish. While my partner watched and listened to the proceedings I got the feeling he could not believe I had once been a member of such a group. I felt embarrassed and ashamed, and just wanted to get it done and go.

Even though we were outside the main auditorium I could hear what swampman was saying. I had a hard time to sit and wait and watch it once more: all I wanted was to get in there and get it done.

Anyway in short I buttonholed him, where upon he expressed with a loving smile his delight at seeing me, and asked me to sit at his feet and talk a little. I found myself falling under the old spell, with my brain going blank and knees weak.

I knew in that state I was better off simply saying I was there to say goodbye, give him my letter then leave. So that is what I did.

Afterward, although I knew on a conscious level that I had done the right thing I was confused and sad.

A part of the old bhakta, devotee and brainwashed cult child still lurked somewhere in me.

I had thought to celebrate my freedom that evening, but went to bed early and hurting.

I knew I had not dealt fully with my ashram past, but I was staggered to realise that I was still somewhat under the spell of the cultleader.

I had left the ashram in 2006 and taken the first step toward reclaiming my life.

Now it was 2010; I had unfinished business and it was time to open the closet, drag the ghosts out and deal with them.

The rest is history, with high profile print articles, a TV expose, and multiple posts on the site from people having similar experiences to mine.

Being in contact with other women who had been set up in the same way was uplifting.

Although at times very intense, completing my own “exorcism process” was straightforward, with an absence of any doubt or confusion. I am glad it is over.

By the end of 2011 I had met many of those who made up the real “Ex yidl family”, as Tony calls them.

Many of them helped me, and I would like to give credit to some outstanding people.

Firstly a big Thank You to the creator of the original website, Falseswamiji. He gets my 2011 Award for his guts and persistence keeping the site running and updated. Especially for the amazing new site, where all the important detail on the subject can be found. I am very grateful to him. He is an outstanding character, in a class of his own.

Second, my Awards for 2012 go to Roman and Tony, who created a forum which has become the Ex yidl base camp.

The general exchange of thoughts and views found there mean the world to me.

The new forum is even better; so thank you my friends for all your efforts and time. Words cannot fully express my compliments.

I cannot name everyone who was helpful to me, as many would rather remain anonymous and that is fine by me.

To all those who supported the women through their forum posts: thank you.

To everyone who supported me practically and emotionally during my Europe tour last summer: one big Thank You.

To all the devotees who were brave enough to share their sexual experiences with swampy on the web: Thank you.

And last but not least, Thank You to my partner, who has been my biggest supporter and sounding board day and night.

2011 was a difficult year for many of us, but it saw a growing, credible and organized group of people exposing the methods of the man from Rupawas , Rajasthan and gradually disrupting his activities worldwide.

His usual schedule is off the agenda and he slowly runs out of excuses not to come to Vienna.

No yidl representative has had the balls to speak with me on the record.

Their efforts have been directed at portraying me as someone of low moral character, and a prostitute among other things. I believe these low tactics are a good indicator of their spiritual integrity......

My wish is that swampman acknowleges the abuse we were subjected to, and faces the consequences.

This is the only way those still in yidl will be made aware of the real nature of the organisation they have devoted their lives to.

Anything less will mean ongoing denial, and good people continuing to be ripped off spiritually, financially and morally.

Many disciples made the big call to leave yidl based on what came together in the last year, and the appearance of this group has likely reinforced to those who left years ago that this was the correct thing to do.

Happy Anniversary! :-)


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take your pick, all 3 serve the same purpose


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Wednesday, April 4th 2012, 6:35am

Thank you, dear Angela,
You are very brave! I admire your courage and strength.
Happy anniversary and all the best to you! :ten:

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Wednesday, April 4th 2012, 8:13am

Thank You Angela and all the women

A Big thank you Angela, N**a, and all the women who have come forward, and all who dared to question.
Thank You for sharing your journey with us, and your healing. I hope it is getting easier as time goes by for everyone.

I feel liberated. I was under the spell of swampy and i was not happy, i felt stuck. Nothing we did was good enough. There was so much fear in his teaching (eg. wasting this LIFE if we don't get self-realisation, which is only gained through seva etc.) and lots of control.

I will be grateful for the rest of my life to you, and I wish you all a life of freedom that is beyond all religion, systems and dogmas.

Sending love


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Wednesday, April 4th 2012, 10:48am

Thank You Angela and all the women
since leaving Swampii
I get enough sleep,,, everyday!
I connect with nature and and smell the ocean breeze
I have time for my partner
I take care of my health instead of just watching it slip down the drain
I have enough money and do not live so,, so,,, below the poverty level as before
I am valued at work place
I smile a lot more and have a good feeling inside
I am creative and loving

I am incredibly grateful to the forum runners, this forum and letter writers and and handy posts that gave me the possibilty of processing my grief and loss quickly
so that I could get on with my life with quality as soon as possible.
Thank You Thank You to all the brave women you have given me my freedom
Love Love love to you all for not leaving me in there


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Thursday, June 14th 2012, 11:03am

There are new posts on
N. and A. anniversary letters

[edit by admin: moved over here from another thread where it was off-topic]


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Thursday, June 14th 2012, 11:06am

and don'f forget about Teodora's post, it is for all the mothers and parents, bringing their children to the hands of guru:

TEODORA, Novi Sad, Serbia

Here is the english translation from her post from forum:
""My daughter is in yoga since she was 5 years old, now she is 22. When she was 17 she began to do guru seva ( in that time she received mantra too). As parents we dragged her to yoga and took her to seminars. What to say, what can brainwashing cause ( either to elder or young): her wish for 18th birthday was to go in Jadan on gurupurnima (and we fulfilled her wish???!!!) She didn't have a boyfriend for four years. Her arguments was that she doesn't need someone who eats meat because he will pollute her; she will end disappointed anyway; that boy should not drink alcohol because that will "delete" 6 months of meditation. And we listened to that for years.

In February last year I resigned from dydl ( with about 100 yoga friends from Novi Sad), but my daughter is still hesitating. My "husband" stayed. Till May I was trying to pull them out both, but when he subscribed the new membership and began with the opening of new yoga center in NS, I asked him for divorce.

Another family "broke". In June and July he was constantly in touch with XYZ by phone, and with yoga friends from SLO, CRO, even with Jadan. In September he became a "demonstrator" on yoga classes, and teacher in April (I'm not shore if he received or how the diploma).

I'm ashamed with the fact that there are dydl flyers in our stores ( we have a company), that they keep bringing new "victims" for scalps (he found a new "wife", and he was already with her in Strilky). When XYZ was in 2010 in Novi Sad, in our company, my husband humbly told him: "We don't need anything of this, we will transfer all to you" ( you can see about uor company on how much it can worth).

So, now I have 2 problems:
How can I pull out my child from a sect? (because new gurupurnima is coming)
How can I obtain something that belongs to me after 25 years of marriage, if I don't know what kind of instructions he gets?

My massage for Roman is (although I'm shore he knows the way things are), if he will speak with XYZ, he should ask him WHAT ARE HIS PLANS WITH MY DAUGHTER? devi from Australia is my daughter's gurusister. Every woman who is "chosen" in the beginning has an older "sister" who is teaching her how to serve tea, how to put on shoes, carry the coat, serve food, even count money... Luckily, nothing bad happened to her, yet... She get the instruction from her "sister" to become a demonstrator, and she was for about 1 year. On Pašman she was chosen to do some photographs for dydl site ( some of them are still on the site - young karma yogis in action), and we were very stupid proud parents because of our daughter.

Thank you for opening this site and being every night with me while my family was falling apart.
(and I have no doubt that I made the wright decision, especially when you get a massage from a woman with bad experience that you should GET OUT YOUR CHILD IMMEDIATELY, AND A MOTHER SHOULD NOT GIVE UP THIS FIGHT
I am trying for one year, but it's difficult for my daughter to cut off all the "connections", after so many years. Maybe I am trying in a wrong way...


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Thursday, June 14th 2012, 2:50pm

somehow i missed this post before , when / where was it posted ?


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Friday, June 15th 2012, 12:27am

Teodora's letter

I have been away on vacation and notice new issues. Thanks 'karavan' for the English translation. I feel so sick just reading the above translated message from Teodora. I had witnessed a similar scenario where a young beautiful lady once complained to 'd pile of O' about her husband and he had advised her to leave him if he (husband) cannot understand her needs to go to the Center .....her travel time was 1 hr each way and children left behind with Grandparents or husband. My message to all the ex- old timers is to please send this kind of information to Immigration. RE: Teodora **My main concern for the daughter is that she is being guided by a very unstable person; who herself needs proper guidance, a secure environment to combat her own insecurities and feel loved for the right reasons.

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