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Roman

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1

Tuesday, October 30th 2012, 8:08pm

Cici

I have heard that Cici died of heart attack today. Anybody can confirm that? And if yes, then farewell...

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Tuesday, October 30th 2012, 10:12pm

Yes, it is true.

Thank_You

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Wednesday, October 31st 2012, 1:01am

Dear Cici
Thank for writing "That" letter,
as shocking as it was to read
- then accept - and then to process
- it really helped me alot.
It was utterly courageous and truthful and you did me a great deed in helping free me .
I wish you light and love on the other side
Thankfully yours

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Thursday, November 1st 2012, 4:02am

Truth be knowen he probably died of a broken heart, like the rest of us, does anyone have any more details?

falseswamiji

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Thursday, November 1st 2012, 3:01pm

R.I.P.

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Saturday, November 3rd 2012, 1:48pm

R.I.P.
death is always a final blow unto us all...

Tony

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Tuesday, November 6th 2012, 1:06am

What I have always found intriguing is that Cici would never post anything here, or on any other forum. He's written his letter and then vanished from public life.

We can only speculate as to precisely why not, chief theory being that he wanted to protect us (which would be ironic, since the official version is that it is all his conspiracy anyway). Perhaps he was really burned and broken and did not have any strength to deal with his ex-Universe. Or maybe he even disagreed with what we are doing here. His goodbye letter states rather clearly that he was only dissociating with swAmi, personally, but not with the rest of the fairy tale lineage, let alone with the Hindu/Vedic philosophy as a whole. Who knows.

It is sad that he remained alone, isolated, and ultimately he failed to recover. It does feel that he has died of a broken heart, or rather of the unbearable stress of the knowledge of having wasted an entire lifetime on a fantasy.

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Tuesday, November 6th 2012, 1:00pm

He sure must have had certain awareness of the different types of abuses in YIXL before , being swampy's right hand for so so many years.
And he probably rationalized that he was doing the right thing by being silent and trusting his ''guru'' though he had certain doubts and internal struggles about what's right and what's true... but he had been brainwashed for 30 years, and like most of the bhaktas that stayed with swampy even now after all this mess and evidences .
Still ,finally seeing the truth with no trace of doubt he had done what had to be done - knowing he'll be laughed at , humiliated and cursed from (almost) everyone . Even those that appreciated his act must have had second thoughts of why he didn't do it before or similarly.
Madhavanxada was his last refuge and hope that he had not completely wasted his trust and lost his path, and finding out from Angela that he was just another fake guru probably shook him again and even more.
But he never lost his trust in yoga , in the benefits of yoga practice and meditation , he managed to separate what is true value from his disappointments and wasted trust.
I can only say , thank you Cici !
I never met you in person, we had one or 2 phone calls and 2 emails and that's been all of our communication, but thank you for finding strength to expose yourself and make yourself vulnerable for the benefit of the truth and of the abused women.
Why didn't he react before , or after, that is no more important. Important is that he had found strength to do it.
R.I.P. may all you spiritual dreams and efforts find their fulfillment ...wherever you are.

Roman

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Wednesday, November 7th 2012, 12:02am

This is what we have received from somebody who knew him well:

Hello

dear administrator of beyond orange page I'd like to write just a few words at Cicijevi death. please, publish my text under post by: Mariya

"A lot of memories came back to me on this sad occasion. Cici has always been for us the voice of reason, that reason which we often neglected while listening the lectures of the orange dress, and was sleeping somewhere deep in the mind. When Cici was at the seminars, his presence spoke to us: it is good to have you here, and it is worthy to be here.

The speculation about his death: to all of you who were with me on that seminar about 5 years ago (Vep?, Koper? '), remember his lecture, when he spoke about his health? It was a few months after his heart attack. Among other things, he said that bananas are very good for the heart because they have a lot of potassium. He talked a lot about his health, heart problems. Among other things, he said that he will live for about 5 years, since his heart is not gonna hold longer.

After that lecture, we were all very sad, but because he was always so full of energy, his messages were not taken too seriously.

With his departure has definitely ended an important period- golden age - of an orange movement in the Eu.

Cici, we will miss you, I hope to meet you one day on beyond"

thank you

Tony

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Thursday, November 8th 2012, 5:01am

One also wonders if the YIDL propaganda machine is already tastelessly "explaining" his passing as Mahaprabhuji's iron fist crushing the miscreant who dared to cross his guru. swAmi probably did his trademark compassionate head shake, eyebrows up, and then sadly and quietly said, "karma..."

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Saturday, November 10th 2012, 4:08pm

Thanks to Cici

Dear Cici,
I don´t know where the truth about your role in YIDL is. I am not sure what you know and didn´t know.
I even don´t care any more.
I knew the truth about our guru for 15 years from my personal experience and wasn´t able to be truthfull even to myself.
It is part of my life, that´s all.

What I bring with me from your dids is your decision to leave YIDL and YIDL´s reaction, which helped me to find other women with same experience and to find the strenth to quit YIDL.
And after 1,5 year from my departure I dare to say that after 20 years I found oncemore the joy in my life.

I hope you have died with peace in your heart or at least you will find it.

Thanks.

Eva

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Tuesday, November 13th 2012, 6:56am

There is a web-page where one can see the transcripts of Chichi's talks (in Serbian & English): http://joganovisad.org/

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Tuesday, November 13th 2012, 8:21pm

Hi,
I would like to share with you a precious moment I had with Cici short after he had his previous heart attacks. He was aware the whole time. I asked him how it was and he told me that he came in the presence of something so great, so immense and beautiful that he felt humble and grateful and so happy to be part of it. He said that he came back only because he had some duties to solve. And now is done. He was really great and I miss him.

karavan

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Sunday, November 18th 2012, 10:31am

Cici at his blog:
http://joganovisad.org/

Fear from Disobedience

About 80% of people are organically afraid of their own disobedience towards authorities. The remaining 20% dare to realize that an individual or institution, which are important for them or more powerful than they are, do something immoral or force them to do something against their conscience. But out of those 20% only three percent dares to refuse obedience to violence or immorality.

That paralyzing fear of 97% of the population is easily used by predators in all areas of life, from politics, jobs, families, to international relations. The victim is afraid that reviewing and appointing of acts and character of the abuser will threaten its own safety, financial, social, emotional or spiritual. Permanent mobbing of predator leaves a lasting mark on the hippocampus in the brain, where it is stored as a deep fear of disobedience to any authority.

Those 3% who have the character, consciousness and conscience to resist the violence publicly, they are often attacked by those 80% who do not dare to look at the mirror of their own cowardice. Often, those who are the greatest victims, experience the collapse of personality and their fear completely blocks their cortex – a zone of common sense, breaking their will power to offer any resistance. In order to survive at all as persons, they have to deny before themselves and the others any evil that comes from the abuser and they become his greatest defenders.

Even greater protectors of the predator are those who expect to get big personal benefit from him – careerists, opportunists and material, moral and spiritual poor persons. In spirituality, the fear of personal disobedience towards spiritual authority is associated with the fear of losing social security, loss of spiritual belonging, and even loss of God and the dream of eternal salvation.

PallasAthene

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Sunday, November 18th 2012, 8:21pm

Do not stand at my grave and weep.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
(Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

Mary Frye (1932)

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